Congratulations!

Hi anybody,

With this being my first attempt at a homepage (ugh!, where did I get that original line from?), I don't know if much will ever become of it. Reason? I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. That should pretty much explain why I haven't done this, that, or one thing or another with it. Of course, I'm always open to suggestions on how to improve it (different background, different colored text, remove it from the web, etc.). Just be sure to include very detailed instructions. In plain, simple English, thank you. I don't know diddly squat when it comes to that computer lingo.

Now that I've got that out of the way, and since you accidently stumbled into my fiasco (you didn't get on the internet to intentionally find it, did you?), let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a 42 year old postal worker in Santa Barbara County, California (that's on the west coast of the United States, just in case your geography isn't quite up to par), where my job entails the sorting of newspapers, smaller packages, and priority mail. After 21 years of working in the "federal comedy club," a rather common description of the job, I'm still not showing any signs of "going postal."

I was born in Oslo, Norway. Where's that? Check a map. And no, I don't have blonde hair, but I do speak the language. "Snakker du norsk?" Being part of a military family, I grew up mainly in Europe, as well as various places in the U.S. Am I married? Quite frankly, no, and I never have been. That's not to say it won't happen someday, but for now my answer to that question still stands. NO! So now that you have the story of my life in a nut shell, what's yours? Never mind that question, I'm not so sure I want to know.